Disclaimer: this probably isn’t an article if you are looking for honest love, although some of the tips can be used to induce deep attraction.
This article is about manipulation and playing in order to increase your confidence and see what makes men lose their minds. The tips given here are for you to focus on this experience and experiment. It is not ABOUT the guy, it is about enjoying the experience of flirting.
It’s probably best if you try these tips on a guy you’re not particularly fond of, at least in the beginning of your experiment. You can also apply these tips if you don’t have a lot of experience in dating. If you’re deeply attracted to him, or worse have feelings for him, it’s going to be difficult to keep your head cool and apply the tips.
You do not need to use ALL of the tips during the whole date. Just apply those that you feel most comfortable with and apply those that seem most fun to you.
It is advised to keep using these tips on several men, and practice until your confidence in dating becomes unshakable. You can also keep practicing until it becomes second nature to you. You have the choice here.
Will these tips make every man fall deeply in love with you? Perhaps not. You can however be sure that you’ll make an impression on them.
The first impression is going to be important. This is where you play with the Halo Effect and use it to your advantage. You’re going to display certain qualities where the other person will perceive you as more fun and more attractive, even if you think you’re average or below-average looking. If you want to learn more about the Halo Effect you can google it and the psychological effects it has on human beings.
- Check your mood.
Always smile, and appear to be in a good mood. You need to check your mood because people will sense if you are faking it. Our posture, our face expression, and our body language changes when we are happy. If you are not sure about your face expression please practice in the mirror; think about something that makes you happy in life, and see how your posture changes. Keep in mind that this is an act where you’re testing how a man reacts to your attitude and nothing else. I cannot stress enough what I wrote in the introduction: you need to not care about the guy, he’s your lab rat during this date, and no f*cks should be given about how you come off.
The smile is a very powerful tool. Show your pearly whites as soon as you see him. Smile not only with your mouth but also with your eyes; the smile needs to look genuine. Again, you can practice smiling in the mirror. Act excited, interested, and surprised like a kid seeing the fair for the first time. Keep an open body language, i.e keep your arms open to hug him. If a song you like comes in the car, start enjoying it and move a little as if you’re dancing. Try to remember all times in the past where you were in a good mood and how you acted. Make notes of what you remember when it came to your attitude during happy times, and apply it during this fake-date.
- Body language and proximity.
Keep your arms relaxed and open, the same way you would be if you were with your best friend. You need to act free and relaxed.
If you are going to a bar for instance, do not sit face to face with him, it is not a job interview. You need to come near him, on his side where there is still some distance yet there’s some proximity. You need to sit near him, so that once in a while, throughout the date, you can make physical contact. Now physical contact does not mean that you need to start giving him a lap dance; this needs to be subtle. You touch his hand, his leg, or his arm in a subtle way. You do not sit back in the chair the whole time but come forward sometimes when he is saying something “interesting”. An example would be when he starts talking about something that he’s interested in. There you act excited and move your upper body forward and slightly touch his arm or his leg. You moving sometimes back and forth (don’t overdo it please) will allow him to smell your beauty products and your perfume, giving him more material to fantasize.
A plus tip of adding more attraction is to ask him to “please get you a drink”, while touching his arm, in a sweet voice. This isn’t about the drink, this is about you asking him for a favor, and it has been proven that if you want someone to like you, you ask them for a favor. Our brain rationalizes that if we are doing this person a favor it must mean that we like them. Here you just mindf*cked him with a little sentence and it even got you a drink, it’s a win-win game for you.
- Use mystery.
This is the biggest mistake most women make during the first date(s). They want to feel understood or heard, so they share information about themselves. They want to impress the guy, so they talk about which university they attended. They talk about their hobbies and make the whole date about themselves. Newsflash: on the first date he’s thinking about how to get you into bed, he doesn’t really care about your life story. No need to share much or anything about your background. The first date is to create mystery and to mindf*ck him not to treat him like your therapist. Of course, topics like where you work, or what you have studied might come up on a first date, and these types of questions you can answer. You can also talk about your favorite food, or your hobbies, but then quickly you need to turn the attention towards him, and ask him questions instead. The questions you ask need to be about what he likes, what his hobbies are, or what his sexual preferences are… what his kinks are. People feel closer to each other when they open up about intimate things and an amazing way to make men feel at ease is making them talk about sexual things. Whatever might come out of his mouth, you need to be non-judgmental and act curious about it. Listen to it carefully so that you know what makes him tick and can use it to induce attraction later on, if you decide to keep dating him. You can also share your own kinks if they are compatible with his, this is going to make you look more appealing. It is important to bring up the sex conversation on this first date, because it going to excite his imagination. Do not be shy to talk about sexual things. Here again you will become more mysterious since now he is imagining doing these things with you.
- Amp up your looks.
Dress in a way where you can make an impression! This doesn’t mean that you should wear extremely short shorts, or that you should exaggerate in showing your cleavage. It needs to look provocative, not vulgar. You need to dress feminine and show off your best feature(s). If you have a beautiful face, wear appropriate make up, if your cleavage is your best feature, show this off more than other parts of your body. If you have an amazing butt wear tight leggings or skinny jeans. If you have a stripper’s body, you can play with one of your favorite features but not all of them. Dress in a way where other men would also turn around when you walk past them. When men see that other men want you too, their competitive instinct wakes up, making you more wanted and more attractive in his eyes. The most important with clothes is that you wear something you feel comfortable AND beautiful. If you cannot walk properly in heels, do not wear them and wear a sexy top instead. If you’re going to feel awkward showing off your cleavage even though it looks awesome, then just don’t show it. Conclusion: wear something that makes you FEEL hot.
- All people have insecurities: compliment the shit out of him.
Going on a date and knowing that everyone has their insecurities is one of the most important things to keep in mind. This is going to make you feel more powerful and in control of the situation.
If he has done something where you see he’s proud of, act impressed, and tell him a “wow”. At first you can tell him he really looks handsome today with a smile and a sweet voice again. Throughout the date while he’s talking, find something specific you like about his appearance, and tell him “oh I really like your eyes/hands/smile”. It’s okay to interrupt him while he’s talking to throw a compliment like this one. Applying this tool surprises a man so much that it literally f*cks his mind up, in an awesome way.
Highlight his achievements (even if they aren’t achievements in your eyes). Act impressed by his job or his hobbies and ask him that you want him to talk about his interests because you know nothing about this. If you work in the social field and he works in finance for example pretend you are impressed and tell him how smart he must be to work there because you understand nothing about this field. If you work in the same field, then you can ask him about his hobbies and ask him to teach you about this and how interested you are in learning about this fascinating hobby. You downplay your achievements or any other strength you think you have and make him feel like a God. Saying “thank you”, with a sweet voice when he makes you a compliment is more than enough. This isn’t about you coming off as a stupid person, you probably can hold a conversation. And anyway you’re playing: who cares if he thinks you’re stupid? It’s not like you’re trying to get into Yale where you need to prove your skills. It’s much more appealing for a man if you come off as stupid and fun rather than as a cold-awkward intellectual, especially on a first date.
- The “What are you looking for” question?
This is a trap question most men ask in order to see what buttons they can push to mindf*ck you. Or perhaps he is desperate for a relationship and wants to know if you will give him that illusion of security. Either way, you do not want to give in. You do not want to be played with nor do you want a desperate guy (unless you do, then good luck to you, I hope you’re specialized in treating people with low self-esteem).
At this point we’re gonna turn the tables and you’re going to be the one who is looking to push HIS buttons. If he asks what you’re looking for never ever say you’re looking for a relationship. The best way to answer this question is to simply say “I’m not looking for anything in particular. I am just looking to meet interesting people and have a fun time”. Then immediately, you ask him what he is looking for. Give him your full attention because he will probably be honest once you say that you are not interested in a relationship; his guard will be down. That way you will see what his intentions and desires are, and you can keep pushing his buttons if you decide to date him again.
- Have your first date OUTDOORS.
The first date can be in a bar, in a restaurant, or even in a nightclub where he can see you are fun. Your act can work wonders if you are in a place where you come off as fun, or even as crazy fun. First dates in places like cinema or the theater are to be avoided since not only will it be boring, but you also will not have the opportunity to get to know what he likes and what he doesn’t. There’s not much dialogue you can have during a movie.
For the love of GOD do not go to his place or invite him to your place for a first date, let alone have sex with him on a first date without even letting a connection be established. Being in a private place is very likely to lead to sex, especially if you’re horny and attracted to him. Do not spend the night with him or do girlfriend stuff with him from the first date on. By now, you should know that familiarity breeds contempt. You need to keep the date limited in time and space, leaving him wanting for more. Here again you are playing with the mystery aspect of the article. Outdoors, you are out of his reach: he can see you and have a taste of your presence, but he cannot go further, and this will only deepen his attraction.
To conclude I will give you one of the most important secrets in one sentence that make a man melt: give him your attention, or pretend to do it. Men are so starved for attention, especially from a fun woman, that in many cases they would be willing to pay for it.
With these tips in mind, I wish you happy hunting!